An Eating Contest
by Thomas the Traveler
Summary: When Samuel comes to Mechin, no one has any idea that he is about to start the most unusual event the city has ever known. "Side story to Goodbeast"
1. Chapter 1

**Well, it took a year, but Samuel and I finally finished _An Eating Contest_. A lot has changed since I was last here, but I hope people will still enjoy my stories. Have fun! **

**Disclaimer: I did not come up with the country of Southward. But everything else here was either from my brain or Samuel's. So, please do not abuse your right to read this by claiming the ideas as your own.**

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_Part One: A Trip to the Tavern_

Samuel the Safariest, a tall, stout, black furred hare, came waltzing into town . . . literally. And since he didn't know how to waltz, he attracted quite a lot of attention.

The town he was entering was called Mechin. That was about as much as he knew about it. He was going down the wharf side when he walked past a tavern with a sign reading _The Scarred Beer_. Now he walked past the tavern twelve times thinking on one hand that it was no place for him, but on the other hand that there was probably more food then the mere beer mentioned on the sign. Yes, he finally decided, there most certainly had to be more then beer. So he went in.

To his delight, there _was_ more then beer! But, on the other hand, they didn't have any shrewzberry tortes either. So, with a shrug of his shoulders, he decided to settle for three melons. The moment he gave his order, though, there came a collection of laughs from behind.

Turning his head round, Samuel perceived a large gathering of seven hares, all of whom were laughing, sitting at a large table in the center of the room. Samuel glared at them until they noticed.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked haughtily.

The leader, a hare called Billy, answered. "You call yourself a hare?!" he asked. "Why, I have seven melons right here in front of me, and I've already eaten five! There won't be any left-overs, either, I can assure you!"

At these words Samuel's eyes thinned and his brows turned down. "You think I can't eat as much as you!?" he asked.

To this the hares burst into an even greater roar.

Samuel rose out of his seat at the counter, and faced them indignantly. "In that case, I, the Black Hungry Hare, challenge all comers,to an eating contest!" He stated.

The room fell silent. Such a suggestion seemed too absurd. Surely there was a misunderstanding!

"Hey!" shouted another hare at the table, one called Sammy. "What do ya mean an eating contest?"

"Just that." responded Samuel stiffly. "Whoever eats most wins. Losers divide the bill between them."

Silence reigned for a few moments as the other hares considered this. "You know," commented Billy, "I may have misjudged ya! Let the hungriest hare win!"

All seven hares got up from the table, and marched over to the counter. Billy was by far the tallest and strongest, and was their undisputed leader. And had he not been there, Sammy certainly could have taken his place without much effort.

But neither of them were necessarily the widest of the group. It was their friend Yugo who held that record, as was easily seen by all observers, especially when, in sitting down, he took up two seats at once.

Also with them was Gilbert and George, the sea-faring Black-nose Brothers. Each were known to be the fastest chow-chompers for over a hundred miles. But then again, speed did not equal stomach size.

Fred was the smallest hare there, but he was known to be able to eat three times his own size, and usually ordered the largest portions when the group went out for food. His weakness lay in his pickyness, as he would only order choice foods, which sometimes took more time to digest.

Finally, there was Robin. As the only female of the group, she was sometimes looked down upon by onlookers. But those who knew her best knew that she had an advantage over the others in this battle; she had never met a dish she didn't like.

As the eight hares sat down at the counter, most of those in the tavern scooted closer to better see the results, a few hurrying out to get their friends. All present knew that this would be an event to remember. The bar-tender, a heavily scarred squirrel named Richard, quickly motioned to his assistant mole, and whispered, "When I give the signal, run over to the Loco Lodge and ask for extra supplies. I have a feeling we'll need it."

Samuel took a large metal bowl out of his backpack, along with two long sticks. Placing these between the fingers of his right hand, he demonstrated how he could use them for utensils. Then, raising his other hand, he prepared to start the contest.

"Three . . ."

Those who had left came back with more spectators. The new comers quickly hunted for vantage points.

". . . two . . ."

The hares began to plan in their minds what they were going to order. A few creatures began to bet on which hare would win.

". . . one . . ."

All muscles were tense, all heads leaning forward, all eyes strained. Richard prepared to fill the orders he knew were about to come.

". . . GO!"

And they were off!

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**So there is the first chapter. To all my acquaintances, sorry I've been gone so long, but I'm afraid I won't have time to do the things I used to. To no one in particular, please read through, review, and anything else you feel like doing. God bless you, shalom, and good night! 8/20/2014 TTT**


	2. Chapter 2

**Six views, and no reviews, in two days. Yes, maybe I should have waited longer, but some how I don't think that's the problem. Oh well, I told myself two days, and two days it's going to be. Here you go.**

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_Part Two: "May the Hungriest Hare Win"_

At the signal, all eight hares began their deluge of orders. Richard found his expectations had been miscalculated. As fast as he got a requested dish to its destination, it was gobbled up, and a new one was requested. In addition, there were still seven other orders to be filled. Even with the assistants mole's help, it was impossible to keep up. Seeing this, a few spectators leaped over the counter and began to help out.

Before five minutes had gone by, the contestants had consumed enough to feed a single creature for a year. Robin had swallowed three gooseberry pies in one gulp. Sammy had consumed six huge honeydew melons. Seeing this Yugo had raised his eyebrows at Sammy mockingly, while taking in thirteen enormous water melons one by one. Meanwhile, Gilbert gobbled up a large carrot casserole with and boiled potato topped with dill weed. George quickly countered his brother by consuming twelve stuffed peppers and twenty one whole turnips. At that, Billy (by this time amused) decided to stop "playing nice".

"I'll have eleven more carrot cakes and forty-five cabbages, please." he informed Richard.

Richard, in turn, did some quick thinking. "Why not make it twelve cakes and forty-six cabbages, to keep it even?" he suggested.

"Brilliant!" agreed Billy. "Twelve and forty-six it is!"

Richard quickly ducked into the storeroom, meeting up with the assistant mole and a volunteer helper hedgehog. With a quick glance at the stock shelves, he saw that their supply was severally in need of a boost. Glancing sideways, he saw the assistant mole looking at him expectantly.

"Be quick!" he said.

The assistant mole needed no other bidding. He quickly bolted out the back door, ran round to the front of the tavern, and headed into town. He reached the center of town in less then ten minutes, attracting a lot of attention as he went, and burst into the Loco Lodge tavern.

Everyone inside looked over at the new-comer in curiosity. But he was so out of breath, he couldn't say anything. Instead, he collapsed on the floor, gasping for air.

Quickly, a table was cleared, and the assistant mole was laid upon it. Several customers tried offering suggestions, all of which were, of course, no help. Finally, the bar-tender, a burly hare named Titus, pushed his way through to the table, and demanded everyone to back away.

When the assistant mole had regained his breath, Titus as ked him, "Well, sir, what is it you've been in such a hurry to get here for?"

"Oi've come . . . froom the . . . _Scerd Beer_. We be . . . harven a . . . eatan contest. Need moor . . . supplies. Think yoom . . . cood help?

"Think I can." Titus replied sternly, after considering the request for a moment. "But there is a price."

"And woot wood thart be?" inquired the assistant mole.

"That I can come and watch." Titus replied with a smile.

The assistant mole smiled back. "Ove course! At is quoite a soit."

Quickly Titus gathered up a group of strong volunteers to transport the food and drink over to the _Scarred Beer_, and everyone began to head over. It was quite a crowd that showed up, with more coming by the second, so that eventually almost half the town was packed in and around the tavern, hoping to get a glimpse of the battle inside.

With the new supply of food, orders increased. Gilbert became the first to give up, and spent the rest of the battle trying to calm his aching stomach. Many others groaned along with him as they paid up their lost bets.

The battle continued with almost all the hares doing everything in their power to gobble up more than the others. Almost all . . . but not quite. At the edge of the counter, eating slowly and contentedly, was Samuel. Instead of eating as fast as he could, he patiently took one bite at a time, savoring his food, ordering as he went along. He himself found it quite amusing to watching other hares struggling to stuff more into their mouths, finding themselves unable to swallow, and having to start over again. Just now, Yugo was trying to eat a whole pumpkin at once. Samuel chuckled to himself, and took another bite of bread-and-butter.

Meanwhile, sitting at a nearby table were three spectators, who were discussing the "food fight". They were a gopher named Desert, a hedgehog named Gretel, and another hedgehog named Lavender.

"How does that black one think to win?" Gretel remarked.

"My thought, exactly." agreed Desert. "While those other hares are chowing down pounds and pounds of food and drink, he seems to be taking his time!"

"I wouldn't be so hasty, if I were you." interjected Lavender. "He may look slower, but he is able to make more progress than if he was shoving things into his mouth and then not being able to swallow. He's actually gotten more down then the others."

"I get it." replied Desert. "And already one other hare has dropped out. I wonder who he is?"

At that moment George and Yugo each gave a cry of surrender, and stumbled over to join Gilbert at the central table. The fact that Yugo had given up had an unsettling effect on his friends, so much so that Fred and Robin both dropped out as well. The battle became more intense than ever. There were only three hares left.

On and on they ate. Everyone watched in stunned silence, knowing that it couldn't possibly go on much longer. Billy and Sammy had begun to follow the black hares example as to their eating technique. It was hard to say whether this was because they realized the advantages of such a strategy, or because they were not sure how much more they could fit in anyway.

Suddenly, Sammy gave a great groan, and toppled to the ground. Seeing this, Billy paled. Turning to the black hare, he cried out, "All right, I give up! You've beaten all of us. Congratulations, Black Hungry Hare."

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**One more chapter, and then comes a long-awaited update of _Goodbeast_. Hopefully there will be more activity on this story in the next two days. God bless, shalom, and good morning! 8/23/2014 TTT**


	3. Chapter 3

**Three views for the previous chapter, and three new ones for the chapter before that. _And still no reviews!_ Oh well, it's a good chance to practice my patience. Just to clarify, Samuel's bowl is a jungle drum.  
**

**Disclaimer: You know.**

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_Part Three: The Ballad of the Black Hungry Hare_

At Billy's surrender, a great cheer arose. "Hurray! Hurray for the Black Hungry Hare!"

Samuel modestly responded, "That's okay, Billy! I don't think I could have eaten much more myself anyway. Um, by the way, are you going to finish that salad?"

After the laughter had calmed down, Billy invited Samuel to sit at the center table with his companions.

"That sounds alright!" Samuel cried. With that, he picked up his bowl and sticks, came over the the table, and set them down. Then, to everyone's surprise, he commenced to tapping the inside of the bowl with the sticks, producing a peculiar music. Suddenly, he burst into song.

_Having just completed a meal,_

_I now bring out my drum,_

_To sing to you my travels,_

_And memorable things I've done._

_Even though my feats are many,_

_From adventures I have won,_

_The thing I cherish mostly,_

_Is the food/drink sampling fun! Oh,_

(Chorus)

_I've sampled the cheese of Corisant,_

_And the beef of Mintigun._

_I've even been to Galifray,_

_Where my cake tasted like sponge._

The hare paused here, and remarked, "Of course, if I had had the sense to go to a _professional_ baker, instead of an uncertified one, I might have gotten better. Not that most sponges taste too too bad, but not exactly what I was expecting from a cake." He then continued.

_Spicy hot dogs from Mobius,_

_And tea from Baker Street,_

_Should never be eaten at the same time, please,_

_Just take it as truth from me._

_The veggies from the red stone abbey,_

_Make a nice heathy snack._

_But instead of bring beer from my trip,_

_It's coffee I'll bring back! Oh,_

Chorus

_The chips I've had in Middle Earth,_

_Are usually over done._

_The bread of Asgard is rather burnt,_

_And the pudding always runs._

_I usually prefer the good old chow,_

_That I get back at home,_

_But if you want to come by and try some,_

_You've got quite a ways to run! Oh,_

Chorus

_I've tasted almost everything,_

_That might come to your mind._

_I've made it my commission _

_to sample everything I find._

_So when you want culinary advise,_

_Just drop a note to me,_

_For no one knows food like a Black Hungry Hare,_

_Who's eaten everything, see? Oh,_

_I've had the fish of Kimono,_

_And Caspian's homemade 'mesh'._

_But truth be told, most do behold,_

_That shrewzberries what I like best!_

With that, and a final musical epilogue, he took up his 'bowl', went over to a table in a dark corner, and called for his original order of three melons.

As he ate his dish, he kept an eye on the other patrons. After a while, the excitement died down, and he was left to himself. The minute he saw that no one was watching him, he stuck his finger in his ear, and began whispering.

"Psst to Triple T, Psst to Triple T. I have arrived at Mechin, and am currently at a waterfront tavern called the Scared Bear, or something like that. Can . . ." Here he was interrupted by some squabbling from his ear. When it had quieted, he responded, "Well, well, aren't we in a bad mood. What, may I ask, is wrong with me being here to meet you?" More squabbling. "Oh, come now. You'll manage. Now, are you coming over or not?" Silence. Then, a bit of the same squabbling. "Very good. I am in a dark corner. You can't miss me. See you soon!." With that, the Black Hungry Hare removed his finger from his ear, and continued to enjoy his meal.

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**For more, please head over and read _Goodbeast_. I hope you have enjoyed this short story, written by Nathan Rich, and edited by Jay U. Light. Until next time, shalom, and good night! 8/31/2014 TTT  
**


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